3/8/2020

Good morning to all. It is eleven thirty-five in the morning here in Dalton, Georgia. Another sunny day is what we have today and it is so beautiful outside. I haven't been up for long but I feel that I am going to get a lot done today. Call it intuition if you will.
My husband is making another pot of coffee because he does drink a lot of coffee. I am still on my first cup which I guess would measure up to two cups given its size. I am feeling pretty good this morning so far now that I have taken some medicine for a headache that I woke up with.
We are still sitting here drinking coffee and having a good conversation. He is making me laugh by acting so silly. I love him so much and I try to make it show. The dogs are playing in the room and having a good time. When it gets quiet is when we begin wondering about their character. The one thing that I do love in the whole world is seeing the older ones playing with the younger ones. It is so cute even though sometimes we have to tell them to be easy with the younger ones because they are tiny babies.
This might be a short post today because I am starting to have the feeling of racing and speeding up. I hate these feelings but they do happen, so guess what, I am a normal human being. I am on medication to help with these things, but one panic attack or depressive mood will always slip by them and make my day hell, but today I am feeling good feelings and happy thoughts.
So, let me tell everyone to have a blessed day and share their love. "Happy Birthday" to those with one today. Please keep the homeless and Hope Station USA in your thoughts and prayers. Take care and love someone today.

1/15/2020

Hello everyone. How are you doing? I need some time and space to vent over stupid shit to others but most of it is important to me. Things like for instance, my husband thinks that I am very smart, I don't see it, but he is constantly volunteering me to be google search and information for everyone. That shit drives me crazy because that is what the internet is for, not me. People who spend a lot of time on their phones should know how to look things up on google, instead of them having to do the work, my husband volunteers me to do it for everyone like I should know all the answers in the universe.
Another thing that is so minor is food. When I buy something and state that it is mine or for me to eat and when I am ready to go get it and someone else has used it all, that irks me because they were the ones who told me to inform them if something is specially bought for me. Things are really getting to me because of my environment, what's going on around me, and sometimes even the people around me annoy the crap out of me.
I feel so awkward because I am not like everyone else and have my own core values and such that it makes me stand out as being the bad guy because I don't believe what others believe, but I must conform to their ways in order to keep the peace. It feels so much like deja vu because again, I am having to put another mask on to hide who I really am. It almost kills me to have to resort to such drastic measures that change my life and who I am totally.
When does the masquerade stop and life begin? I don't know what else to do but be what everyone else wants me to be no matter if it makes me happy or not. Maybe God has a reason for this, I could only hope, or there is something bigger going on that is beyond my scope of intelligence.
It is driving issues between my husband and me and I can't help but question my own existence in this place.
Sorry for having to vent but it has got to come to a head at some point. My mental health medication can't block out everything. Thanks for listening. Have a great night.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!

Well, turkey day is finally here and families are getting together. I just feel empathy because the homeless are alone and outside in the cold. Where are their families? I got up this morning feeling okay and everyone was hustling around getting the food and everything set up. It is my day off from cleaning and cooking, so I am going to take advantage of it.
With my mental illness affecting how I adjust to groups of people, everyone here knows that I will eat with them, but then I will adjourn to my room and write. I cannot be around groups of people without having a panic or anxiety attack, so it is best that I refrain from being around everyone.
I miss my family on the holidays but maybe next year will be better when we will be in our own house and I am the cook. We will be able to have people over to share the holidays with. I haven't seen my dad since September of last year and my mom in over twenty years. I finally called her ad we spoke for about an hour and it was good.
I will keep this short because I have some book writing to do while waiting for dinner to get done. our roommate has gone to pick up some of their kids so, I will stay back here in my room with my dogs and spend Thanksgiving with them. They are apart of my family and usually every year they get to eat turkey with me, but being that we are living with another person, they will have to get scraps that I bring back here.
Well, time to get things done and begin my writing. I hope everyone has a blessed Thanksgiving and enjoys the love of the holidays. Please keep the homeless in your thoughts and prayers and be good to one another. Take care.

5/9/2019

Good morning to everyone, it is eight thirteen in the morning here in Dalton, Georgia and it has been raining throughout the night. The countdown has begun for our move and the closer it gets, the more excited I get. I have approximately half of our stuff packed in boxes and totes and hopefully tomorrow we will begin loading the trailer up with what is packed so that I can make more room to move around and pack the rest of our stuff.

I have had a weird night with waking up several times and just sitting here. I sit for about thirty minutes and then go right back to bed. It is crazy. I have been looking over our bills and things are going to be tight for next month, but they will get straightened out and we will be back on track financially.

For some good news, I just published those two manuscripts that I had been sitting on and now I have seven books published. Yay Me! I just had to share that with everyone. Now I can finish the one I have been working on and hopefully, after the editing process it will be ready for publishing. I know that while we are living on our property I will be able to get more writing done.

I have informed my husband that while up there, I will work half a day on clearing the property and then the other half goes to writing my books to which he agreed. We both know that this will be a good thing for both of us and really for me with my mental illness. He hates to see me stress so much and go through changes, so being up there by ourselves and with peace and quiet, I will be better.

I just fed my dogs and gave them their water and now it is time for me to get other things done before my doctor's appointment this morning. I get to go see my diabetes doctor today and show her how crazy my sugar has been since getting my epidural. It will be okay because I am getting it back under control again.

Well, time to get off of here and do some other things. I wish everyone a blessed Thursday and a "Happy Birthday" to those celebrating today. Take care and keep the homeless in your prayers.

Paypal Fundraising

paypal.com/us/fundraiser/charity/1446573

https://www.gofundme.com/5u9yxn-pathway-to-selfsufficiency

4/21/2019 & 4/22/2019

Good morning everyone. It is eleven seventeen in the morning and fifty-eight degrees outside with a beautiful sun shining. We just woke up because we were up late last night watching "The Passion of the Christ". It is one of my favorite movies along with "Risen". I want to say "Happy Easter" to all and may you find many Easter eggs on your hunt.

Yesterday was a crazy day for me with all the cleaning that I was doing. Our roommate's ex-wife left him again and like every other female who moves in, they leave a huge mess that I have to clean up. Then, his own son came over and got violent with his crippled father and caused him to obtain three breaks in his tail bone from hitting him and knocking him to the ground.

4/22/2019

Hello everyone. I apologize for not finishing my post from yesterday. I got caught up in doing other things and then I wasn't feeling good. My stomach is sour and making me have gas and an upset stomach. I got up this morning feeling like I weigh one-hundred pounds more than I currently do because of how my stomach feels.

I have an agenda today to get some writing done. I watched a few of my Sunday sermons and teachings last night that gave me a sense of peace knowing that every step I take has been ordained by God. It makes me feel joy and calms my being to know that I have been redeemed and that my walk with God will be a closer one. He has a purpose for my life and with the helper in my life, I will have understanding.

Today is going to be a good day no matter our roommate trying to cause issues stating we owe him money for a month we were not here. I am not going to allow him to take my joy from me today. I have a psychiatrist appointment in about an hour and she is going to love me. I slept okay last night and actually do remember one of my dreams which was a good one.

Well, before I get to venting on here about our roommate, I need to get ready for my doctor appointment which I have to leave here in about thirty minutes. I wish everyone well today and a blessed birthday to everyone born on this date. Take care.

4/17/2019

Good morning everyone. It is sixty-seven degrees and very sunny outside today. I just woke up and had my first cup of coffee and let my dogs out. I have to leave in about an hour to go to my back doctor and to pay some bills. I am a little sore today but it is manageable. The bruise over my left kidney is finally starting to go away from my fall in the bathroom but it is still a sore spot to the touch.

I ran both of my finished manuscripts through a spell check and grammar yesterday and made a few corrections and now they are ready for me to read to check for the flow of the story. So, you can say I am beginning the editing phase of those two manuscripts before publishing. That will make seven books published while I am halfway through the next manuscript.

I WILL get some writing done today and get that manuscript closer to being finished. I have fallen behind on my writing schedule due to mental health issues that have been affecting me lately. I spent quite a bit of time with my husband yesterday because I felt depressed and had no reason for it. I love how he cares for me.

I have started another article for another site and should have it submitted today as well. I feel like writing today and through my books, I can release a lot of emotions which make me feel better. Most of my stories are created because of things that I am feeling which helps me therapeutically. I always feel tied to my stories because of my mental illness and my past.

Today, I feel is going to be a good productive day for me and I like the way I feel upon waking up. My medication really has helped me sleep since being prescribed it. As far as my mental health medication go, they can't guarantee that depression or anxiety won't slip through every now and then, but I do have a lot more good days than bad since being put on new medications.

Well, my husband just made and brought me my second cup of coffee and I am enjoying it because it tastes so good this morning for some reason. Last night we sat and discussed the plans for our homestead and came up with some ideas that I have to research and get more information for. I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation last night because he mostly leaves everything up to me to take care of but this time he actually put his opinions into the conversation.

Well, I must end this post now so that I can get ready to leave and I wish everyone a blessed day. For those who were born on this date, "Happy Birthday" and may you have many more. Please keep the homeless in your prayers and thoughts and do something nice for someone less fortunate today and you will be rewarded for your good deed. Take care.

Paypal Fundraising

paypal.com/us/fundraiser/charity/1446573

https://www.gofundme.com/5u9yxn-pathway-to-selfsufficiency

4/12/2019

Hello everyone, it is me again. I know that I have not been posting anything in the last few days because we have been over at a friends house helping out and making a few dollars. I also fell the other night in the bathroom and now I have a nice big bruise on my back about where my kidneys are that hurts plus it did something to both my ankles because they were swollen as big as softballs and I had to use my cane for a few days just to walk because it was painful.

I am now home today and not going anywhere except to the dollar store to buy items that we need, but other than that, I am homebound for the rest of the weekend. I have a couple doctor appointments next week and then we travel up to the property the week after to have the soil mapping done. Once that is done we can make arrangements to move there and get our cabin. We will need $500 to pay for the construction permit for the septic tank but it is good for three years, so it gives us time to build the kitchen and bathroom to be able to hook up too. I can't wait.

I already have an idea where my garden is going to go for the later in the year vegetables and pumpkins for Halloween. I will also have a giant greenhouse constructed for growing all year eventually. Many plans have been made and we can only do what our finances will allow us to do each month but we will get everything going soon.

I want you all to excuse me, but I must vent about something I witnessed the other night and it sickens me not to mention makes me mad. We pulled into a convenience store and the man was there changing out the donuts and there on his cart sat a bag with about twenty-five donuts. when I asked him what they do with them, he stated that he must take them back to the plant for waste and thrown in the garbage.

We have people here and across the world starving, but we throw away so much food that could help feed them. After some research and a few phone calls to merchants, no one donates their extra food to help feed people and it all goes into the trash and recorded as waste. Why could they not donate the food to help feed people and get a tax write off instead of taking a loss as waste. It makes no sense to me. All the food being thrown out could feed so many people. How do you feel about it? People should stand up and fight for those who are starving and hungry. Thank you for allowing me to vent for a minute.

Well, it is time to get things going around here and I have already cleaned the house so now I can catch up on my writing. I would have done some last night but I had a mood swing in which my husband had to sit and hold me while I cried. It was a bad night and being in pain because of not having my medications correctly did a number on me. I am okay now and ready to get myself motivated again.

So, I wish everyone a wonderful Friday and a blessed one. "Happy Birthday" to those that were born on this date and may you have many more to come. Take care everyone and please show your support for the homeless by clicking one of the links below and making a contribution. Take care.

Paypal Fundraising

paypal.com/us/fundraiser/charity/1446573

https://www.gofundme.com/5u9yxn-pathway-to-selfsufficiency

1/14/2019

Good evening everyone. Today was a better day than lately. Once I got up this morning, it was off to a doctors appointment for my husband and then we stopped by the new pain management office I have submitted to for pain meds. It has taken about a week but I finally have an appointment for next week. I have been out of meds since Friday morning and the pain has been bad enough to keep me from sleeping and being able to function during the day.

Once we got home, it was back into the back room to finish going through our personal belongings to see what we are able to keep and what must be sold to pay bills that are owed for this month. It is hard having to give away everything we worked so hard to get, but if it means us being happy, out of debt for good, and on our way to our future, then, we must do what needs to be done.

I watched a sermon this evening that sent chills and the hair on my arms to stand and almost broke me to tears. God is breaking us from the old selves that we have been caught up in and making way for the new us to begin. He is taking and destroying what evil is putting into our lives and holding us and making room for what He has for our lives. I cannot wait.

My faith has been keeping me strong all these years and now when it is being threatened, God is renewing it and making me strong again. We have had to make some decisions, but it is for the better for our future to grow. It is hard for me to bring it to mind that it is happening all over again, but we will be fine because we will be together. It will not be the first time we have had to lose everything, but it will be the last time.

It will take us the rest of this week to finish sorting through everything, plus for me to make the large candles for the flea market. I find it relaxing to do arts and crafts and even writing, but the way things have gone on lately with me mentally, writing has been far from my mind. I want to write and finish these books, but I have a lack of motivation due to the circumstances surrounding us.

My pain has taken a lot out of me and lack of sleep because of it, and I need to get past the pain to move forward. My husband has been there and then not been there because of taking care of other things. He was completely in the dark about things until I finally broke them down to him and made him understand that we will always be in debt and having financial problems if we don't fix and change some things.

I know it will still take a few more days for it to all sink in his head and for him to fully understand, and I can wait for him to understand. It will be a two load trip to the flea market to get all our stuff there and I am hoping to sell most if not at least half of it this weekend. Two of our bills are due to be paid Wednesday and we have nothing to pay them so the flea market money will help.

I have just taken my bed medication and hopefully that will help me sleep tonight, if not, I will be working on my books as well as I can with my pain level being high to keep me awake. This time, I took a muscle relaxer to see if that helps me sleep.

Well, I guess I am going to go lay down and see if I can fall asleep. I haven't had much sleep since Friday and it has taken a toll on my body. So I will bid everyone a good night and a blessed one. "Happy Birthday" to everyone who celebrated one today. Take care.

1/13/2019

Hello everyone. I wish I could say that I have had a good couple of days. My husband and I have actually had our second fight in five years, but at least this one was over something serious as the finances. We are in debt and have been for months due to our circumstances changing. He now understands why I have been so uneasy and scatterbrained because of everything going on. I was always the one who could fix things but now I can't fix them the way he wants me to.

It has now come down to me selling and liquidating everything we own just to pay some bills that haven't been paid this month yet which were due weeks ago. It is stressful because everything we have accumulated together now has to be sold just to make ends meet. It hurts that things he bought for me have to be sold for pennies on the dollar just to pay some bills.

We don't flaunt money or do a whole lot of frivolous spending, but committing to bills we couldn't afford from the beginning has put a financial burden on us. I love my husband to death but sometimes he can be such a good guy and want to help everyone. So, over the next couple of weeks, we will be going to the local flea market rain or shine and selling off our stuff.

Everything is materialistic and this would not be the first time that I have had to sell my stuff to pay bills. I made the comment to him yesterday during our fight and my mental breakdown that I wish we could go back to when I had nothing and was just surviving because it was so much easier. I had nothing, so to let something go was no big deal because I had nothing to start with.

Between the two of us yesterday, we managed to smash our one smartphone. It got caught up in the breakdown of my mental status. He makes me want to be a better person and want for nice things, but at what cost? I don't care to own fancy televisions, real jewelry, or pricey things because they don't make me who I am.

Well, enough venting for now. I wish for everyone a nice evening and a blessed one. "Happy Birthday" to everyone born on this date and may you have many more. Take care.

12/12/2018

Hello everyone. How are you today? I guess I am doing pretty good. I am still adjusting to the temporary bladder pacemaker that I am wearing and a bit sore but doing better. It is a bit chilly outside but still a beautiful day. It has been hectic for the past few weeks and I just realized what I have been lacking on as far as my writing goes.

I just made a list of what I need to have done to get caught up and I am going to work on it today as soon as I get done with this post. Everyone has been very supportive of my condition of not being able to do much around the house and tomorrow I go back to the doctor to schedule my permanent implantation surgery which I am excited about because this device has been making things better for me with my medical condition of incontinence.

It will still put me down for a few more weeks, but I will be able to do a little more than I can now because the permanent one has anchors and no chance of coming out, where these temporary ones can move and come out. I am just glad that there has been a major improvement in my condition and symptoms.

Today was the first day that I released the puppies from their pen and allowed them to roam around the back room with the other dogs and it was fun to watch because they got along with all the dogs just fine and even ate food with them. Now, they are laying down napping after getting very full bellies of food and water and lots of playtime. It is quiet back here in my room and the perfect environment for writing.

I am feeling positive and good today. I went to the doctor and got refills on my medication and my attitude is much better today. Things are looking up. I should have my first vampire book published this evening which excites me even more. I hope everyone gets a copy and enjoys it.

Well, I need to get going because of so many things to do and I wish everyone a wonderfully blessed day. I want to wish everyone turning another year older today a very "Happy Birthday" and may you have many more. Take care.

12/10/2018

Hello everyone. I do apologize for not posting in a minute because of things getting back to normal around here. I am doing okay today just had to deal with some anxiety today because of a procedure. I had a temporary pacemaker put in for my bladder to help with an incontinence issue. The doctor said that I have a very nervous bladder, lol.

I had the procedure done and I am not supposed to do anything but take it easy for the next couple of days. I am sore in my lower back and it feels like a probe pushed up my rectum but it is easing up. I go back on Thursday to give my test results and then I will be scheduled for a permanent implantation of a pacemaker. At least this time, my hospital stay will be putting something in instead of taking something out of me, lol.

Everything is good here, so I guess it is just writing and editing for me the next couple of days and no housework. I am not supposed to bend, lift, or twist which they call a BLT. It was painful when they put the needles in my lower back to numb the area and now I am just sore.

My next book, "Immortal Passion" will be published tomorrow evening and I hope everyone gets a copy. It is the first book in a series about vampires. I have enjoyed writing it because I would love to be the main female character. You should really read it and give me some feedback. If you get a copy, feel free to leave me a review with your thoughts.

I will probably have the next book ready for publishing next week because as you know I have been working on several books at once. I have nothing better to do than write and get my stories out to the world. I find it very relaxing and enjoyable when I drift off into one of my stories.

Well, it is time to lay down and watch some television with my husband and try to get used to this pacemaker and I also have another doctor's appointment in the morning for my mental illness medications. I wish everyone a wonderful evening and "Happy Birthday" to all those who turned another year older today. Take care.

12/4/2018

Hello everyone. Today is not a good day and I feel like shit. I wanted to post to let everyone know that because of my mental health illness that I am putting things away and I don't know if I will pick them back up ever. I am canceling almost all of my doctor's appointments except the urologist because I am due to get a pacemaker in about a week from now.

The only reason for that is because I am tired of peeing the bed and all over myself. It is affecting me mentally which does not help the situation. I am tired of going through things and now that I think about it, it makes sense why I stayed homeless for so long because I had nothing for anyone to take away.

I don't know at this point what to do and all I can do is sit here and cry because I am worn down and my mind is going everywhere. If I am here tomorrow posting, it will be considered a miracle. So for now, I just have to play it by ear what will happen next. Take care everyone.

9/21/2018

"Happy Friday!" It is the weekend already again and I am so glad for that because I am so tired of telemarketers calling my phone and having to run back and forth to doctors' appointments. I want to just sit in my back room here and do my work.

I got up this morning feeling pretty good and motivated to do things but it quickly got turned around. I am taking care of some things back here in my room today with my husband's help. I am going to throw a lot of our stuff out today because it is clustered back here and I feel like I am suffocating, plus it doesn't do any good for my mental health status.

Today I will be catching up on a few things and getting some more of my books written, but only after the room gets clean so that I can concentrate. I also want to let everyone know that we have both my roommates mother and father home again. They are doing okay so far and have plenty of people to look after them. Everyone is so happy that they are home, "welcome home you two".

Today will be a good day for writing and getting another chapter in each book written. I finished a chapter in two books last night and I love my stories. It gives me someplace other than where I am to disappear to. When I am stressed, I disappear inside my stories where I can calm down and relax.

Well, it is time to get started on cleaning this room and then to my writing. I have a busy day ahead of me and look forward to it. I want to wish everyone an awesome and great Friday and to everyone celebrating a birthday, "Happy Birthday". Take care.

9/14/2018

Good morning everyone. Such a glorious and beautiful morning outside. The sun is shining and I can already feel the heat, the birds are talking, and my dogs are acting silly with my biggest and middle baby in heat. We have all females and I am so glad for that and she is kept locked up in the backyard so no threat of an escape or visitors, lol.

So, today is a busy day because not only will I be working my schedule stuff, but they are going to be bringing my roommate's dad home from the nursing home in about a week and we are going to power clean the living room so that his hospital bed can be put in there where he is around everyone and we can look after him better.

His mother has been diagnosed with Cancer throughout her body and they are going to get her into a Cancer treatment facility to fight this. She is being very strong and her attitude is that she is not ready to die and there are plenty of us fighting this fight with her. She is a strong woman who has endured a lot within the past year. Both her brother and sister have died this past year and she is the only sibling left, so I give her props for what she has gone through and is still sane.

My husband will be busy painting the ceilings today while we clean, but I will be hopefully taking breaks to get some of my own things done and it shouldn't take us but a couple of hours to get the living room done and ready.

I am writing into the next chapter in my fantasy book and also working on my thriller book as well. I have to set up the sequence for my next nonfictional book before I can begin writing it. So I have a lot of work to get done but with hope, I can do it. it will be another milestone in my mental health recovery to finish the next nonfiction book because I too had a drug habit for many years and this month, I am ten years clean and sober. (pat on the back) :) My habit was extreme and I know if I can do it, anyone can do it.

Well, got to get started, so everyone have an awesome Friday and be blessed. "Happy Birthday" to everyone celebrating one today. Take care.

9/10/2018

Good afternoon everyone. How are you doing today? "Happy Monday!" It is the first day of the work week again and I know some of you are probably feeling pretty sluggish today after a good weekend.

First off, we had to rush my roommate's mother to the ER this morning by ambulance and just a little while ago found out she had a heart attack. There is still no word as of yet what they plan to do or their course of action, but I am asking everyone for prayers that she makes it through all of this and for her son who already has a lot on his plate. I am asking God for strength that he can overcome all of this. His father has been moved to a nursing home and now his mother with a heart attack, so please send your prayers this way for this family.

Now, on to other things, I am doing okay today. I went to see my mental health doctor this morning and we have a new plan of action to help me with things going on and more medication changes like I need it. I have come home and began mowing the lawn in the front yard to get a little exercise since my husband swept and mopped for me this morning. He can be so sweet and helpful at times.

I, again, am playing catch up on some things and just finished sending out and scheduling tweets about my free ebook promotion and my Kindle Countdown promotion on another recently published book. Yesterday alone, I gave away nine free ebooks and today another four more. The Kindle Countdown just began today so hurry and get your copy now.

My writing has tapered off a little due to some mental health and possibly some physical health issues. I will be doing a sleep study for narcolepsy and will go from there. I feel fine when I get up in the morning, but by dinner time, I need a nap. My one to two-hour power naps has now gone to full six and seven-hour naps. It could also be due to mental health issues like stress and severe anxiety that can be wearing me out to exhaustion which is causing my mind and body to shut down, but I will soon find out.

I now have four books in the editing stage and working on writing three more for this month. I have two that are simple edits while the other two need more extensive editing, but my schedule allows Sundays for editing while I can write during the week. I will probably cut back on writing for a week and just work on editing these books to make them ready for the editor before publishing.

It probably sounds like a lot, but I could do a book a week which would be more tiresome, so it breaks up the monotony to work on one book for an hour and a half and then move on to the next for the same amount of time until I have worked on three of them in one day. Although they will not all be published at the same time. I write as the story flows through my mind.

Well, it is time to get to work since I am getting a late start. I want to wish every one of you a blessed and happy Monday. Also, everyone with a birthday today, "Happy Birthday" and wishing you many more to come. Take care.

9/6/2018

Hello everyone. It is a good day today to start off with. We got back home last night and it felt so good to be able to sleep in our own bed. The dogs were happy to be home too. I got up a little late this morning but slept hard and comfortable only with a few times having to get up to go to the bathroom. Everyone slept good and I did especially after a hot shower.

This morning I got up and cleaned the house, filled the fish aquarium with more water and fed them, and then came back to my room to get some of my things done. It is kind of hot back here with the sun shining and everything a pretty green, but I can't wait for cooler weather to come. I hate sweating unless I am doing some landscaping around the house or yard work. Tomorrow we will be getting a burn permit to burn some brush in the backyard.

I have not started my books for this month, but I will be starting them today by getting my notes out and ready. I look forward to writing my next nonfiction and four fiction books which should be done this month. I am running behind on two books from last month, but I will be catching up so it will not be a problem. My writing is important to me and to my mental health as a coping mechanism. It allows me to disappear from reality and be a part of my stories. 

Two books will actually be published before the end of the month and others will be in the editing stages. My husband does not enjoy reading but he has heard them read back to me and enjoys the story very much. Writing is a part of my life and no one can take that from me.

Other than that, I will hopefully be getting my first podcast done tomorrow which will just be introductions on who I am and what I am doing along with some background on myself. I hope everyone gets a chance to hear it and give me some feedback on it. Youtube videos will be coming soon, but I hope to get one done over the weekend. The first one will be an introduction as well, and then it will go into what books I have published, working on, and maybe even some stories or information on the next work in progress.

Well, it is time to get some things done and I hope everyone is having a wonderful day. To those with a birthday today, "Happy Birthday" and may you have many more. Take care.

8/26/2018

Good morning everyone. Welcome to the last day of the weekend. This is what I used to call the day of rest and recovery from a hard weekend of partying, but that was years ago when I stopped drinking. I have been clean and sober ten years this month. I am so proud of myself for a great accomplishment. Most people have a hard time walking away from drugs and alcohol but I am here to testify it can be done, even without support.

My newest addiction is writing books, lol. I have a hard time when I am not writing. I get irritated when I have to go somewhere or do something and it messes with my writing. It is what gives me space from reality and stress. It has become a coping mechanism for my mental health and it reduces my stress and high blood pressure.

I will be finishing up another manuscript today and possibly the second one too. Then I will have four books in the editing phase. I am hoping to have the fifth one done tomorrow. I will just be sitting on them until I have the money to pay for the editing. It is hard being on disability and trying to pay for something like this after the bills. I will manage it though.

Today is a great day and I wish everyone a blessed day. This will be a short post today because I have coupons sitting here that I need to get done before writing. I am always saving money with my coupons and I have a good stockpile of items to get started with. So, everyone have a wonderful Sunday. "Happy Birthday" to all of you having a birthday today and may you have many more. Take care and God Bless.

8/15/2018

Good morning everyone. I am sitting here drinking my first cup of coffee and watching my dogs act silly this morning. I guess my husband got tired of my venting and needed a break because he went to a friends house last night to fix their son's Xbox and never came home last night. So, I am having coffee alone this morning and I am okay with it. I actually expected it sooner or later.

Anyway, I am up this morning and I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon so, I will be getting things done before having to leave. I am going to be finishing a short story and posting it today along with finishing the last chapter of one book, the second chapter of the second book, and the first chapter of the third. I am trying to get my motivation and passion for writing back regardless of my mental health.

I enjoy writing but my mental health has put up a block and is trying to stop me from writing. I will not give in to it and continue moving forward with my life. I hope everyone else is having a great morning and probably most of you are getting the kids off to school and ready for work. It is becoming a beautiful morning outside and the dogs have finally gone outside to play.

I will make this a short post because I think I did enough writing last night with my venting and I want to get things done that I will miss doing while at the doctor's appointment. My goal is still to have at least two books sent to the editor by the end of the month and ready for publishing in the next month. I am so excited about it.

Well, let me publish this post and get to work while it is quiet around here. I still have some sweeping and mopping to do beforehand so that the house will be cleaned and smelling good which will relax me enough to work. So, to everyone celebrating a birthday today, "Happy Birthday" and to everyone else, I wish for you a blessed day. Take care.

8/14/2018

Hello all! I just realized that I didn't post anything yesterday and I sincerely apologize. In a way, it wouldn't have been a good day to post because I had a very bad day yesterday. I cried, I got angry, and I zoned out a few times. It is just very stressful within myself. I made it to my therapist yesterday and couldn't stop crying because I was so angry and confused. The best advice she gave me was to take it one day at a time and keep myself safe.

On the drive there, I hoped I would have crashed the car into a tree, that is how bad I felt. I don't know what is going on inside me or with me. I feel like the best thing for me to do is to close up in my room and keep myself safe. My husband wouldn't understand why even though he knows that I have done it before. I would only come out of my room to shower, eat, and go to a doctor's appointment. I feel like I need to be alone for a bit and it isn't anything anyone has done.

All of this has to do with me and my mental illness, but I don't expect too many people to understand that. My therapist told me to sit down and do a self-reflection and try to narrow down what happened that made me change. I told my husband yesterday that I am not the same person. Something has changed or triggered a change in me that has caused a lot of conflict within myself. I am good one minute and then wanting to punch the wall the next, which I am not a violent person.

I thought I would be better today but things just keep happening that force me out of my comfort zone and I don't like it. I am trying to behave myself and keep all of my comments and thoughts to myself today so that no one will take things the wrong way. I have a hard time getting the words from my brain to my mouth correct and some things are twisted and people get the wrong meaning of what I am trying to convey.

I am hoping I can try to start over again tomorrow since it is a new day and maybe even feel better. I see my primary care physician tomorrow for an update on my diabetes and cholesterol which I am changing my diet and eating to the way they want me to eat so that I can lose weight and get everything under control. I have some goals made and pinned up over my desk so that I remember.

My goals are to lose fifty pounds, have seven more books published, and my A1C for my diabetes to be under seven all by Halloween. These are realistic goals for me and I know that I can do them. The stress has a lot to do with my weight though because I can't seem to lose any weight or even gain any weight. I am just stuck at my current weight with only a shift of three pounds either way.

I am going to discipline myself to stay on my routine and schedule come hell or high water. If I have a doctor's appointment, I will catch up on what I missed on my schedule before going to bed that night. I need to get things back to where they were or I will crash and burn and my husband has already stated that he doesn't want me going into the hospital because he needs me out here, but if it is for my own sanity I will.

Well, I think I made up for not posting yesterday and I apologize for it seeming like I was venting some frustration. I am not myself and need to fix it so I can be better. I will end here or I will get started again and don't want to talk your ear off or ruin your eyes trying to read all of this.

I wish a "Happy Birthday" to everyone with a birthday today, and to everyone else, have an awesome night. I want to send prayers out to a friend of mine who is in the hospital from having a stroke and wish him a speedy recovery. Take care.

8/6/2018

I have to apologize again for being a no-show the last few days. I have not taken my mental health medication and have not been myself. It was one of those days where you didn't give a damn, but my anxiety and mood swings have been a problem even with the medication. I have not been able to sleep good and I get scatterbrained. The one bad thing about it all is that I can be motivated and ecstatic one minute an then on the drop of a dime, hate everyone or become so depressed or moody that it can be detrimental to my well-being and book writing.

I have not had energy or motivation to write which is not like me because it is therapy for me to write. I cannot even focus on anything right now. I took my husband to his doctor's appointment this morning and kept trying to fall asleep and then my sugar began dropping. When we got home, I tried to get this post and some other things done, but couldn't focus on anything and it was hard to deal with so I laid down and took a nap.

When my husband woke me up this afternoon, I felt a little better but was still a little foggy in the head. This usually comes and goes and that is when you find me locked away in my room so that my mood swings won't affect anyone else. I have taken my medication now and waiting for it to kick in so I can go to sleep which I haven't been able to sleep in a few days again.

I am trying to get my head back together and working on my writing again. I will be sending two books to the editor by the end of this month and begin the editing on the third and writing the next one. I am working on my motivation and hope to see it flourishing again soon.

Wel, it is time to say goodnight and I hope everyone had an awesome and blessed day? I wish everyone that had a birthday today "Happy Birthday" and I will chat more again tomorrow. Sleep well.