Tuesday, May 1, 2018

01/29/2018

It’s a quarter to midnight here and I am about to play some games to wind down for bed. It has been a grueling day for me with so much going on. I got up this morning, had one cup of coffee, and then had to clean house since it isn’t going to clean itself.
There are three grown adults in this house but I seem to be the only one who cares what the house looks and smells like. Everyone curses the roaches but doesn’t seem to help me get rid of them and keep them away.
I have cleaned my room and the dogs’ room every day and took a break from cleaning the kitchen to see if anyone else would clean it? It sat with almost every dish dirty in the sink and on the counter, but no one seems to care.
To me, a filthy house is chaos. It drives me crazy. I guess that is part of my OCD. Everything has to be clean and organized before I can even sit and relax. So today I started cleaning the kitchen but was not happy about it and I made it clear to everyone in the house.
I seem to be everyone’s maid, cook, and secretary. No one can seem to help or do stuff for themselves and I can’t wait to see my therapist in the morning so I can vent to him, lol. Tomorrow is my nephews’ divorce court hearing and I had to print up the divorce packet, fill it out, and then drag him down to the courthouse to file it.
I understand that he has mental issues but this is the third time I have filed this paperwork for him because his wife manipulates him. She threatens to take his kids who he has custody of unless he cancels the divorce hearing and so he does.
Everyone relies on me too much to do things for them and I have to figure out a way to break the cycle. If I take a break from cleaning, the house will get filthier and then it will just drive me crazy and I can’t function enough to write or do anything else for that matter.
It’s like I try to concentrate on writing, but the house has to be clean and smelling good for me to relax enough to get the creative juices flowing. So I get up and do everything just so I can sit and focus. Everyone gets on to me because I sit locked away in my room writing and working on things for my book like advertising, blogging, and tweeting.
I love being alone in that sense and don’t care if I ever go outside as long as there are books to write. There are not enough hours in a day for me to get everything done. Right now everyone is asleep and I enjoy the peace and quiet to be able to write.
Sometimes I get up early in the morning and get the coffee going and dogs out so that I can get some writing done before the chaos and drama wakes up around here. I will figure something out soon. I just have to have some faith. So I want to say goodnight to everyone and “Happy Birthday” to everyone who had a birthday today. I wish you many more. Take care everyone.